Secondly let me say that I am very grateful that we can afford food and that we eat very well - it is the actual act of grocery shopping that I hate and have always hated! I disliked it when I first got married, I disliked it with small children (not because it was necessarily any harder) and I dislike it today! Although I will say now that the kids are older it is getting a little easier, I usually go when they can go with me - I breeze thru the aisles trying to grab everything on our list and then head to the front to check out where I take one last look at the list and there are a ton of things I forgot - so I off handedly say something like "Oh darn I was going to get some Double Stuff Oreos but I forgot to pick them up - oh well maybe next time!", at this point a Kid jumps in and says "I'll run back and get them!" and I say "Oh OK, while you are back there grab this and this and this" and then I send Kid 2 after a few more items, and Kid 3 back to Dairy goods while I stand at the check out counter reading magazines that I don't intend to buy - works every time!
It never seems to fail that something ridiculous happens to me at the grocery store! For example:
I have been blue toothed more than once! This one time I was in produce looking over the lettuce or something and this women (wearing slippers and pajama pants - seriously what is so pressing that she needs a blue tooth device for but doesn't have time to put on real clothing for!) says:
"Picking out fresh produce is hard, your never sure how long it has been out" Now I don't possess the "chit chat" gene or the "kiss ass" gene - this can make me appear shy and blunt all at the same time but I try to never be rude - so I casually shake my head yes and say "yep, not always easy"! She then proceeds to talk about her friend who is dying of cancer - it was horrible and sad but of absolutely no interest to me, I shook my head a few times, said some generic polite phrases - just really wanting to move on, when the woman suddenly looks at me full on and says "I don't know this lady is trying to be a part of our conversation!" at the exact moment I notice the dumb ass thing attached to her ear!
Then there was the time I was about 8 months pregnant with #3, I had a 6 year old and a 3 year old, we were almost done, the cart was full and my back was killing me - I started having some contractions - but there was absolutely no way I was leaving there without my groceries, the cart was full and I was almost done so I took the girls over to the toy aisle and let them play while I sat on an empty shelf for about 15 minutes waiting for the pain to go away - luckily they were only braxton hicks but I was not going to have to go back and do that shopping all over again!
But my all time favorite happened when I was almost 9 mo's. pregnant with #2 and #1 was 3 years old! She was riding in the front of the cart, the cart was full, we were at the front of the store, standing in front of all the cash registers, I was reviewing my list and I offhandedly said to myself:
"Crap I forgot to get Chris' beer, I do not feel like walking back there for it!"
When all of a sudden I hear this horrible beached whale like sound almost busting my eardrums, it is coming from my 3 year old who is sobbing (real tears) and loudly blubbering the phrase repeatedly:
"But Momma please go get the beer, Daddy needs his beer -
OH Momma please please Daddy needs beer!"
The absolute worst part though for me is how many times I have to handle the same item!
Have you ever thought about it:
1. pick the item off the shelf put it in the cart
2. out of the cart onto the cashier's counter
3. pick the grocery bags up and put them in the cart
4. out of the grocery cart and into your car
5. out of your car into your house
6. out of the bag into the cabinet
7. out of the cabinet to prepare
That just seems absurd to me!
Now I have no choice but to quit typing and go put today's grocery's away (step 6) because the frozen stuff won't keep until the kid's get home from school and I can make them do it!