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December 9, 2011

When our kids leave home . . .

. . .Chris says he is going to sneak in their houses late at night and turn on all the lights!

. . .I am going to show up at random times during the day, raid the refrigerator and cabinets and then complain that they have nothing good to eat and maybe they should go to the grocery store more often.

. . .we are going to visit, each enter a different door and not close either one of them!

. . .sneak in and take showers and then hide the wet towels in the closet and deny that we used them and pretend we have "no idea" how they ended up in there "cause we sure as heck didn't do it"!

. . .Chris is going to turn the thermostat up when no one is looking!

. . .when I sneak in to take a shower I am going to scatter dirty laundry all over the house!

. . .I am going to eat a snack in their bedrooms and leave the dirty dishes partially hidden so that they don't find them for weeks!

. . .when I walk in their house I will randomly take off one shoe in the middle of the room and then walk to another room and take off the other shoe - then when it is time to leave I will "look" on the ceiling for it and complain that I can't find them!

. . .I will get a big glass of ice and make sure several cubes land on the kitchen floor and not pick them up, so that they will melt and leave little puddles.

. . .when I visit I will help myself to a glass of milk and leave the jug on the counter for hours!

. . .when they invite me over for supper I will show up early ask what we are having roll my eyes and paw thru the refrigerator and make myself a ham sandwich while they are preparing the meal and then say "I'm not really hungry".

. . .when asked we will gladly help to feed any livestock they have - then we will not feed until we have our pajamas on and then complain, stomp out to the barn and proceed to spill feed everywhere and defiantely forget to turn the barn lights off.

. . .leave empty pudding cups and spoons on their nightstands and then complain that there are no clean spoons to eat my next pudding cup with!

. . .when they complain about all these things I will laugh a maniacal laugh, show them this blog post and tell them I have been planning this for years!

6 comments :

  1. Sure hope you are not moonlighting as an "Elf on a Shelf" or your poor kids would get "nuttin'" for Christmas. Just keep in mind how quickly the years go by, and as the song says you will be wishing them back!! As two of your blessings you can count that they are healthy and bright (except when it comes to figuring out what parents want!).

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  2. Love it! Don't forget to stay for a couple of weeks so you can hoard your dirty laundry then complain when you have nothing clean to wear...and if they have a staircase, let all your stuff pile up on it until no one can climb or descend the stairs without risk of broken limbs....and stack your dirty dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is less than a foot away, never rinsing them so that putting them in the dishwasher won't do any good anyway because of the crusted-on gunk....oh, and tell Chris to always be sure to leave the toilet seat UP!

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  3. I do half that now and don't have kids.

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  4. This post is a RIOT! I love how they take one shoe off in one room and the other shoe off in another room, trip over them three or four times and still cannot find them when it is time to get on the bus. Super sweet post.

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  5. Funny....this is what my mom/dad used to say to us!! Now that I have my own kids, I really do understand. LOL Have a great one!

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