it took me a whole 2 seconds to know what my answer was:
There were lots of good answers - communication, marry your best friend, friends first than marriage, never go to bed mad, don't take what is said in a cattle working pen to heart (or in a hog barn). . . . . .
When Chris got home later I asked him what his advice was and his was one word also: MEDS
I looked him straight in the eye and said "I swear I have been taking mine! Have you?"
But I know first hand if you RELAX the rest comes - I wish someone had given me this simple one word piece of advice 21 years ago - I was definitely not a relaxed newlywed!
Tuesday evening I set out on an adventure by myself - I haven't traveled by myself in over at least 8 years -I don't travel for work and so when I go somewhere it is usually all of us - as a newlywed I am fully aware I would of been anything but relaxed - what would happen while I was gone, what would I miss, who did what, why, how, when did that happen, 'just sit in the house and do nothing while I am gone that way I don't miss anything or you don't have fun without me!' -I might of been a bit high strung!!
But being away this time made me realize how much I and Chris as well have 'relaxed' - our random text messages made me laugh and proved it to me!
Chris- How is the hotel?
I sent him this pic:
Me-Very Nice! Why does the toilet paper have a cover? And I don't have to flush this toilet with my foot-seems pretty clean!
Chris-That is not a toilet, it is a twailait!!!
Me-So what are you doing? I am a little home sick!
Chris-It's not all wine and roses here but I do have a fire, tacos for supper and Sam's (beer) in my belly!
Chris-Go to the lounge and have a drink, just don't let some sleepy salesman pick you up, you know they will try!
Chris- SLEEZY not sleepy
Me-I miss you, you should of come! Guess I will go have a drink with a sleezy salesman!
Me-I mean sleepy!
Chris-Remember you are hotter than you think, don't settle early!
Me-Laughing so loud right now -but don't worry I won't settle early!
Chris-I have a whip app on my phone now-coming in very handy getting the kids ready for school!
Me-You watched Big Bang last night didn't you?
Me-What are you doing?
Chris-Dishwasher and dryer running, trash at the door, light sweeping of the dining room, and this toilet is sanitized for your homecoming! I got my housekeeper game on!
(yes he actually sent me a pic of our toilet)
Me-ummm wow what possessed you to clean the toilet?
Chris-straightening up for you to come home. It needed it, and as you are willing to scrape pens and clean leg pits, reciprocation is only polite!
Me-I love you-THANK YOU - would you also lay some meat out for supper?
Chris-I wouldn't get too excited, kids clothes are not in order, I don't even know what is clean or dirty on the living room floor!
Now don't be fooled - there were some serious ones also -you know the ones:
"The girls are fighting and texting me - go handle it-you are in the same house with them!"
"Did you make the kids do their homework"
"Children need to shower and brush their teeth, are you making them do that"
"I know I am missing Taco Tuesday-sending me a pic of them is just cruel!"
I can say that thru every single good moment and every single bad moment and every single sad moment - Chris is always right there - sometimes in person, sometimes via cell phone, sometimes on the 2-way radio and sometimes he might actually wish he was farther (like the time I was in labor and I asked if I was 'moaning in pain too loud' and he answered honestly with a 'yes you are a little loud')!