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December 15, 2013

It's not about God.....

......I believe in God - God The Father, His Son Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit.  But I am a believer he is everywhere not just in church.  While I have no problem with people who believe once a week a quiet place to worship Him, have spiritual time and learn/listen to the word of God from a preacher is right for them I sometimes sit in the barn after feeding the calves and marvel on this wold he created, I have found myself staring out a window at a sunset or storm telling Him how blessed I feel.  I can't quote the Bible, I can't list all the books in order but I am positive that I won't need to to get into heaven.


It's not about the preacher.....


........it is the people/my friends/my family that make up the church.  They, together, are the reason I love my Boggstown Church.  But I also know that after 43 years in this church that the day I choose to walk thru the doors, whether it be every single Sunday or once a year, they will smile at me, hug me, say they are glad to see me - and it won't matter that the preacher up front doesn't recognize me because it is they, my church family, that I want and need.

It is, however, about me.  About finding my peace and my healing - not a day goes by that I don't say a prayer for my Mom and my brother - I can't begin to imagine losing a piece of my everyday life - and that was what my Dad was to them.  I didn't see or even talk to my Dad everyday so as strange as it is to say- his passing didn't affect my everyday life - but it affected my Sunday's.  Right after he died I continued to go to church but it never failed to send me into tears - it only took a year for me to realize that it wasn't church that was making me sad but the fact that my Dad wasn't there.  I knew he wouldn't be at family dinners, holidays, birthdays, school functions - Chris and I talked about all the monumental moments we wouldn't have him at, I cried for my Mom and my brother and their everyday life, I cried for all the 'teenage' things I did that I never told him I regretted but I never gave a second thought as to how hard it would be to sit in the 3rd pew from the back on the right side of the church and him not be sitting on the center end with a kid on his lap and a handkerchief in his pocket that he was more than willing to share and then put right back in his pocket again.

But it is - it is hard, too hard right now.



3 comments :

  1. Carolyn Miller NelsonDecember 15, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    I started to write, "As far as I can tell, going to church isn't a commandment that Jesus talked about." Wait, it might be: "Honor the Sabbath." One of the ten commandments. Well, it's not one that Jesus said was so important when the Pharisees asked him, which commandment is the most important. Jesus said, Honor God with all your heart and love your neighbor. So I guess it's up to your heart whether going to church or staying home is honoring HIm. The other side, When God tells us to do something, it's in our best interest-God looks out for us and what we need. (Maybe there's something I need to hear or I need to say-who knows?) I see going to church a gift, a gift to be around people who love God like me, and to know they accept me and will hug me like you said. A gift God has given me. It's a gift I can accept and take, or say no thank you. A gift maybe fear, and sadness, which are from the devil-Bible says so-don't want us to have. God is so powerful. I love talking about Him. I don't get to talk about Him as much as I want very often. Thank you for letting me share.

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  2. Oh Jent Hugs hugs hugs I do understand. Hugs B

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